Couples going through menopause often have unique struggles when coping with the new changes and challenges it brings to them both as individuals, and as partners. It is an inner battle – mentally and physically – for not just women, but men as well. For women, it may be hard to get a male partner to understand and be able to empathise with her challenges. But both sexes go through a form of menopause, and this transition is disruptive and even scary, and a certain level of understanding and communication is required for any one to have a quality relationship at this stage of life.
Nancy Cetel talks about many of the changes couples experience in her book Double Menopause, and what often happens is that emotions, including past hurts, hopes, dreams, etc., that may have been buried or unexpressed in the past, can no longer hidden. It can’t be helped – the truth will not be held back any longer. For some women, that shows up in pent up aggression that is taken out on a male partner by pushing him away and/or making him unable to relate to you on a physical level. Men need to know that the loss of desire for sex may be caused from the hormonal changes, but there might also be an emotional element that needs to be dealt with.
It is advisable that men in menopause couples acquaint themselves with the effects of menopause, in themselves and their partners, in order to better understand the changes their relationship is going through. Men soon realize that hormonal imbalances are causing unwanted emotional symptoms in women that could lead to verbal spats every now and then. Men need to be aware that emotional changes are likely to occur and that they are not to blame for them but that their partner may require extra attention, love and outward expressions of caring more now than ever before.
Men need to understand that their sexual drives could also have changed as they experience a slower loss of testosterone. To keep sexual interest, partners may need to put more time and attention into the quality of their sex lives and ‘update’ themselves on what things turn them on at this stag of the game.
Men need to know that a decrease in estrogen in their lover’s bodies – can significantly alter how she thinks and feels about sex. In addition, vaginal discomfort and thinning of the lining of the vagina can make sex painful so it will not be enjoyable for either of them until they find a solution for this.
More than ever this is a critical time for couples to communicate more about the changes they are both experiencing. Christian Northrup talks about ‘reversing roles’ as couples go through this transition in her book the Wisdom of Menopause. Men often lose a lot of the aggression that once fueled their younger years and they are happier to stay home and engage in more nuturing activities, that they never paid attention to before, such as cooking. Women, on the other hand, may want to venture out into the world and pursue a long-thought about career. They become more aggressive and passionate about accomplishing things. In this way, the couple almost switch roles in the relationship.
Talking a lot, expressing ideas, and bonding with one another again becomes critical during this transition. Men need to know what is happening to their women on a day-to-day basis, and visa versa. Women want men to cheer them on as they undergo significant changes including dealing with physical discomfort, hormonal imbalances, and possibly venturing out into the career world for the first time!
Men need to know that sex isn’t going away totally. Explore sexual alternatives and realize that having less sex is not the end of the world! Experiment with vibrators, and oral sex, if you haven’t already as these are fine alternatives and to maintain a healthy sex life. Women love toys as much as guys do. Menopause might mean taking more time for foreplay for some women. Get into a habit of communicating your needs to each other and learn to enjoy the changes instead of fighting against them.
The most important thing is that husbands provide a social network for their menopausal wives to rely on. Realize that menopause is only a phase, albeit the end of the old and the beginning of a new one, and it’s possible to adjust to the changes by remaining aware. By staying informed of each other’s thoughts and feelings and becoming tolerant and understanding to the emotional pains women can go through, menopause couples can overcome most difficulties. And, who knows, you might like the new person you wake up to better! Think of it as another adventure.
More and more women are seeking natural alternative treatments for menopausal symptoms, for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the most compelling reason for many is the association between conventional hormone replacement therapy and a number of serious health risks, including an increased risk of breast cancer and blood clots, although the link has by no means been proven, and the issue is currently the subject of serious debate among women’s health experts. Many women have experienced unpleasant side effects resulting from conventional HRT, including nausea, headaches and vaginal bleeding. Many women simply feel apprehensive at the thought of taking drugs which have been manufactured synthetically.
The whole notion of returning to old fashioned herbal treatments and folk remedies has a certain comforting, romantic appeal. Some of the herbal medicines which are being rediscovered have been used to treat a range of ailments for literally thousands of years. There is a commonly held belief that medicines derived from natural sources are necessarily free from the risk of negative side effects, harmful interactions and allergic reactions. This is simply not true. Whatever kind of medication you choose to take, it’s essential that you fully understand how it works, what dosage level is appropriate for you, and what objective research has been done on its effectiveness and its potential hazards. Your doctor is the best person to provide you with professional, individual advice and attention. Information you find online and in women’s health publications is a useful supplement to your doctor’s advice, and it’s wise to read as widely as you can to get an overall picture of the issues. Your health is the most important thing you have, and while you are free to make your own choices about treating menopause symptoms, it’s vital that you make these choices with your eyes open.
Most experts believe that all of the common menopausal symptoms are caused by the dramatic decline and fluctuations in the body’s levels of estrogen and to some extent progesterone, and the imbalance between them. Approaches to alleviating symptoms generally focus around restoring these hormone levels. Natural treatments are typically made from extracts of plants containing substances which are very similar to the estrogen and/or progesterone produced by the ovaries. The effectiveness of these treatments relies on the assumption that these phytoestrogens and plant progesterones have a similar effect in the body to the body’s own natural hormones. Some herbal treatments work by stimulating glands to produce natural hormones more effectively, rather than restoring the hormones artificially.
Another approach is to treat each symptom individually. There is a range of natural treatments which focus specifically on alleviating common symptoms such as hot flashes!, depression, libido problems, vaginal dryness and fatigue.
Estrogen treatments.
Soy
By far the richest source of phytoestrogens (sometimes called “isoflavones”) is soybeans, and foods made from soy extracts. Soy can be consumed in the form of tofu, soy cheese, meat substitute products such as soy burgers, breads and muffins made with soy flour, and soy drinks, sometimes known as “soy milk”. Some studies have shown that consuming soy beverages or breads made with soy flour twice daily can reduce the severity or the number of hot flasehes,but results have been inconclusive and inconsistent. Soy powders and pills contain much higher levels of phytoestrogens than soy foods, and may have a more significant effect in alleviating menopause symptoms than soy foods, but little is known about the potential hazards. Consuming soy extracts and soy foods may have a range of other health benefits, including reducing the risk of osteoporosis, cancer and heart disease, and lowering cholesterol. Some studies suggest that phytoestrogens may actually help to reduce the risk of breast cancer by blocking the overproduction of natural estrogen in the body.
Herbs containing phytoestrogens
Red clover has been used in Asia for thousands of years to treat skin conditions, asthma, bronchitis, kidney stones, joint disorders and breast inflammation. It is thought to work by improving circulation and stimulating urine and mucous production, or “purifying the blood”. Red clover has been recently discovered to contain high levels of phytoestrogens, and its usefulness in the treatment of menopause symptoms is being investigated. Some studies have shown the herb to be very effective in reducing hot flashes and improving bone density and strength, while others have been inconclusive.
Dong Quai is an important herb used in Chinese medicine, and has been used to treat PMS, menstrual irregularities and meonopause symptoms! for thousands of years, although its effectiveness has yet to be clinically verified by Western health practitioners. It is also believed to dilate blood vessels, and is used to treat high blood pressure and circulatory problems.
Black Cohosh
Black cohosh is commonly believed to contain phytoestrogens, although clinical studies to confirm this have been far from conclusive. It is a perennial plant native to North America, and is also known as black snakeroot, bugbane, rattleroot and macrotys. The plant has a long history of usefulness as a medicinal treatment, first by Native American people and more recently by alternative health practitioners, and has been used to treat a range of gynecological ailments including menopause symptoms, infertility, inflammation of the uterus and ovaries, and to induce lactation, bring on menstruation, and alleviate labor pains. It has also been used to treat rheumatism, fever, coughs and colds, hives and backache. Some studies have shown that taking pills made from black cohosh extract is very helpful in providing short term relief from a range of menopause symptoms including hot flashes, depression, mood swings and anxiety. However, little is known about the effects of taking the treatment in the long term, and some negative side effects have been reported, including headaches, stomach and gastric discomfort and weight gain.
Maca
Peruvian Maca root is believed to work by stimulating glands in the body to produce their own estrogen and testosterone. Maca has been cultivated in the Andes region for perhaps thousands of years, and has been used as a treatment to increase energy, enhance libido and increase fertility. Maca root is claimed to provide a range of benefits, including alleviating PMS symptoms, reducing depression and stress, increasing athletic ability and creating a general sense of well being. It is also claimed to be effective in treating a wide range of menopausal symptoms, including mood swings, depression, irritability, anxiety, fatigue, hot flashes, reduced libido, sleep disturbances and breast tenderness. Objective clinical research into the effectiveness and the potential hazards of taking Maca root supplements is very scant.
Progesterone treatments.
An alternative view of the causes of menopause symptoms places more emphasis on the role of progesterone, and the imbalance between progesterone and estrogen. “Estrogen dominance” is a recently identified syndrome, and is believed by a small number of doctors to be the cause of severe PMS and menstrual problems in early adulthood, and a range of severe symptoms as menopause approaches. Advocates of progesterone treatments believe them to be free from the health risks and side effects associated with estrogen based treatments.
Natural progesterone cream
Natural progesterone creams usually contain extracts from Mexican wild yam, which contains a substance which is believed to be similar to the progesterone produced in the body. The creams are applied to the parts of the body where the skin is thinner, such as the breasts, inner thighs, inner forearms or stomach, and are believed to pass through the skin and circulate through the body. Many women have found natural progesterone creams to be very effective in treating menopause symptoms, but there is no evidence to show that the creams lower the risk of breast and uterine cancer, or are free from the risk of side effects as is sometimes claimed.
Chaste tree berry
Chaste tree berry, sometimes known as Chasteberry or Vitex agnus castus has been used since ancient Greek times to treat a range of ailments. It is believed to stimulate the production of progesterone, and has been shown to be very effective in alleviating severe PMS and a range of menopausal symptoms
Natural remedies for perimenopause and menopause symptoms.
More and more women are seeking natural alternative treatments for symptoms of menopause, for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the most compelling reason for many is the association between conventional hormone replacement therapy and a number of serious health risks, including an increased risk of breast cancer and blood clots, although the link has by no means been proven, and the issue is currently the subject of serious debate among women’s health experts. Many women have experienced unpleasant side effects resulting from conventional HRT, including nausea, headaches and vaginal bleeding. Many women simply feel apprehensive at the thought of taking drugs which have been manufactured synthetically.
The whole notion of returning to old fashioned herbal treatments and folk remedies has a certain comforting, romantic appeal. Some of the herbal medicines which are being rediscovered have been used to treat a range of ailments for literally thousands of years. There is a commonly held belief that medicines derived from natural sources are necessarily free from the risk of negative side effects, harmful interactions and allergic reactions. This is simply not true. Whatever kind of medication you choose to take, it’s essential that you fully understand how it works, what dosage level is appropriate for you, and what objective research has been done on its effectiveness and its potential hazards. Your doctor is the best person to provide you with professional, individual advice and attention. Information you find online and in women’s health publications is a useful supplement to your doctor’s advice, and it’s wise to read as widely as you can to get an overall picture of the issues. Your health is the most important thing you have, and while you are free to make your own choices about treating menopause symptoms, it’s vital that you make these choices with your eyes open.
Most experts believe that all of the common symptoms of menopause are caused by the dramatic decline and fluctuations in the body’s levels of estrogen and to some extent progesterone, and the imbalance between them. Approaches to alleviating symptoms generally focus around restoring these hormone levels. Natural treatments are typically made from extracts of plants containing substances which are very similar to the estrogen and/or progesterone produced by the ovaries. The effectiveness of these treatments relies on the assumption that these phytoestrogens and plant progesterones have a similar effect in the body to the body’s own natural hormones. Some herbal treatments work by stimulating glands to produce natural hormones more effectively, rather than restoring the hormones artificially.
Another approach is to treat each symptom individually. There is a range of natural treatments which focus specifically on alleviating common symptoms such as hot flashes, depression, libido problems, vaginal dryness and fatigue.
Learn the signs and symptoms of menopause.
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